now i know why i became what i already was.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
