I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
