Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish I only lived at night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
