We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
