I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
