he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
