Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
