I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
