Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
