you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
