I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
