I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
