five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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