yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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