does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
