Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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