just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
