how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
