mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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