i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
