all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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