Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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