Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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