I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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