oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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