I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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