So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
