as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
