we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
