I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
