He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
