Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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