Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
