my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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