I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
