i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
