sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
