bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How does one acquire holy water?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
