Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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