the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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