I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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