So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
