She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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