Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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