Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
