um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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