do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
