It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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