I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
