Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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