I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
